Shine On Beautiful

Family. Food. Beautiful Spaces. Healing. Travel. Living Free.

Learning to Love Amy

I wanted to share my journey to learning to love myself with the world. It has been a long, terrifying, emotional, and rewarding journey to where I am today.

Today, I consider myself fully recovered from a long time spent struggling with anorexia, or as I call her, Anamia (the name Colin and I gave my eating disorder). People often ask me, how do you know you’ve reached full recovery? For me, I just knew. It’s about the way I think and the way I act now. I don’t have eating disorder thoughts. No more urges to restrict, binge or purge. No more desires to want to lose weight. No more looking in the mirror judging every part of my body I once hated. No more self harming thoughts. I’ve learned to use healthy coping skills to deal with what life has to offer. I eat what I want. I eat intuitively. I find clothes that fit MY body; I do not alter my body to fit clothes. I live mindfully in everything I do.

A huge turning point for me was learning that I could deal with tough emotions without Anamia. Anger and sadness were very difficult to recognize as okay feelings to have (like I’m sure they are for many). I remember one day being really upset and without any thought, I let myself feel (which was such a beautiful moment) and then I let it go. Anamia didn’t make a presence that day, and from this point on I knew I could handle life without her.

It might sound weird but I feel like I am falling in love with Amy for the first time. Amy has become someone I never believed she could be. Everyday I watch myself blossom even more into who I am. I know I am strong. I am courageous. I am a fighter.

And I am beautiful.

Blog Posts:
My First Trip in Almost a Decade
Things I Did to Help Amy
My Mantra
Bicycles and Cupcakes
Anamia versus Reality
Learning to Deal with Emotions in a Healthy Way
Recovery is Possible: I’m living proof.

9 comments on “Learning to Love Amy

  1. johnmcfarm
    March 15, 2014

    God bless you Amy and may He fill your soul with His loving graces and restore your soul so you may lead a full, happy life.

  2. Jen
    March 19, 2014

    Love this! I think learning to love oneself is one of the most rewarding things a person can do. Thanks for sharing your journey with us!

  3. debhuntinbrokenhill
    April 5, 2014

    You are invincible! Maya Angelou is a wonderful inspiring poet, you might want to read some of her to help you on your journey

  4. healthable old soul
    April 7, 2014

    I can’t wait to follow your adventure through your blog! I feel I can relate so much!

  5. elisabetta
    April 30, 2014

    Hei! I’ve been there too, and can see me in all you wrote here. It was many years ago, but I remember well and it feels so good now! Thank you! And thanks for liking my post!

  6. renatazambo
    April 30, 2014

    people think it’s easy to love yourself unconditionally, but it is definitely a learned skill! Your journey to loving yourself is just brilliant, so glad I stumbled upon your blog.

  7. Lionel Sneed
    May 7, 2014

    Thank you Amy for this heart felt post. May you continue to touch lives with your healing words.

  8. ianmooremorrans
    May 12, 2014

    You are on your way to a satisfying and good life. God bless!

  9. psychologistmimi
    July 1, 2014

    what a moving post!

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