Shine On Beautiful

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Recovery is Possible: I’m living proof.

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As the days go by, I find myself loving life more and more. I do what makes ME, Amy, happy. I don’t focus on the bad; I look for the good in everything. I appreciate my life for what it is, not what it could be or what other people think it should be. I know what my life was, and where I am today almost doesn’t seem real.

One year ago, I was restricting my food in-take, bingeing and purging daily, obsessed with calorie counting, constantly judging myself and others, unable to express what I needed or how I felt, lacking in my ability to trust others, and consistently consumed with thoughts of food.

Today, I don’t restrict. I don’t binge and purge. I don’t obsess over calories. I don’t judge myself or others. I eat what I want when I want. I listen to my body and give it what it needs. I try to live as mindful as I can.

If I want a cookie, I eat a cookie. If I am tired, I take a nap. If I am upset, I give myself extra self-care. If I wake up grouchy, I let myself be grouchy.

But here’s the best part. When my body says “I want _____,” I don’t think twice. I enjoy the moment, whether that be eating a delicious chocolate chip cookie (my favorite!) or taking a much-needed nap. …And then…I continue living my life as someone who is fully recovered. There are no extra thoughts. No questioning, “should I have really eaten that.” No miscommunications between my body and mind. When I was sick, I use being tired as an excuse to turn to Anamia. And one thing I learned going through recovery is that after doing nine years of damage to your body, sleep is essential. And allowing yourself to take a nap is a wonderful thing.

Being recovered is so much more than just about the food. It’s about living life to the fullest each and every day. It’s recognizing when you are sad or tired or angry or happy. It’s about appreciating your body for what it is, not what it isn’t. Not judging others or comparing yourself, but recognizing the beauty in everything. Being recovered from and eating disorder gives you a new sense of appreciation for life.

I have a passion for helping people, and I want those who are struggling to know recovery is possible. It’s a lot of hard work, I won’t lie. I spent most of 2013 dedicated to healing my body and my mind. I worked for recovery every minute of every day. I talked myself through each difficult situation, and there were plenty of times when I fell down. And what I found is each time you fall down, it’s harder to get back up.

So I had to make a decision. Did I want to keep letting myself fall down, and did I want to have to go through the standing back up process again and again? …Knowing that each time standing back up was going to be harder and harder. So  I MADE THE DECISION to get back up, and stay back up. Whatever it took. If that meant locking bathroom doors, cutting up credit cards, crossing out nutrition labels, sticky noting the walls. I was determined that recovery was what I wanted more than anything.

All of that hard work paid off, because today I am fully recovered. I live a “normal” (lol what is normal anyways?) life. Instead of putting my energy (which seems to be never-ending) into something destructive, I have chosen to put it into helping the world.

xo. Live free

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21 comments on “Recovery is Possible: I’m living proof.

  1. tiffanyla27
    April 29, 2014

    Thank you for sharing!!

  2. Yanic A.
    April 29, 2014

    Beautiful… just like you!

  3. thebuddhiblog
    April 30, 2014

    Keep up the good work! You’re an inspiration.

  4. Lorka
    May 2, 2014

    Thank you. I am going to share this with my daughter. She will absolutely love it because it is her story too!

  5. dreamgardeninggirl
    May 2, 2014

    Really inspirational, I look forward to reading more 🙂

  6. TheKajunKween
    May 6, 2014

    This is awesome! I’m an emotional eater who’s trying to break the cycle myself! Very inspiring! Thank you for having the courage to stand up, share your story, and fight the good fight!

  7. minakujund
    May 6, 2014

    Reblogged this on Elu koos söömishäirega.

  8. avocadotimestwo
    May 7, 2014

    Love this so much!

  9. Mary Rowen
    May 9, 2014

    Great, great story! Thank you for sharing. Our stories have much in common, and I wish you all the best on your journey. I don’t know about you, but when I realized I was really, really recovered, I honestly felt like my life was starting all over again. I was getting a second chance, and I try to make the most of each moment now. Keep having fun and enjoying your life!

  10. kanansugandha
    May 9, 2014

    Loved it — and early in the morning what an inspiration… Feeling nice and sharing—If you don’t mind. 🙂

  11. runningovertherainbow
    May 13, 2014

    Thank you for visiting my blog. Great post, and it’s lovely to see someone stating that recovery is possible. When I was suffering it was so hard to find any hope. All the blogs I read made me feel like recovery was never going to happen, there seemed to be very little information on life after an eating disorder. It is so important to share this to all those suffering and I try to do the same. Putting your story out there is scary, thank you for being so brave

  12. Pingback: Healthy Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Smoothie | Shine On Beautiful

  13. Kendall Hall
    May 15, 2014

    Thank you for sharing your story! You are an incredible girl!

  14. Must Love Foods
    May 17, 2014

    congrats on your success. hang in there and keep inspiring others

  15. Julie
    May 18, 2014

    Thank you for sharing. You’re brave and inspiring.

  16. eternifr3e
    May 28, 2014

    Thank you for sharing this! I am encouraged by your story. I am very passionate about mental health and am thankful for you sharing your journey to personal freedom 🙂

  17. susanpots
    June 6, 2014

    Congratulations! On looking for yourself and enjoying the journey. Life is not a destination, it is the trip. I love the poster on your page. Share and give, it will be returned to you so many times over. Oh, yes, and thanks for visiting my blog.

  18. janonlife
    June 15, 2014

    Thanks for liking my post – so that I could discover this! What a wonderful, inspiring story. Thanks so much for sharing it and I wish you well.
    Jan ❤

  19. KatherineB
    July 7, 2014

    I felt so happy reading your post.Thank you

  20. myquietroar
    May 13, 2015

    You can’t beat a good nap 🙂

  21. Pingback: It’s my favorite season: Fall! | Shine On Beautiful

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