Shine On Beautiful

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Anamia versus Reality

I throw a pebble into the sky and watch the shards fall.

About six months back (sometime during September 2013) Colin had a dream that I got a tattoo (haha yeah, me, a tattoo!) with the quote above on my body. First of all, I am not a huge fan of tattoos; at least not on my body. I feel like I have already done enough damage to my body and I have been trying to changed it my entire life, so for now and forever I am going to just be happy and content with what I have and who I am (don’t be surprised now if I go and get a tattoo next week…). My husband on the other hand begged me to let him get a tattoo, but that’s another story.

It wasn’t so much of the dream that stood out to me though. It was this quote. I love it. It embodies so much of what I have been feeling over the last year.

I imagine the sky as the shield that Anamia had surrounded me with, pretending to protect me. She made me believe so many ridiculous lies. I imagine taking a pebble that I find on the ground and putting all of my energy and force into throwing it up into the sky, then watching it slowly crack and crumble to the ground, exposing my fears and weaknesses. But also, opening myself up to a whole other world that I didn’t realize existed.

The Chrysalis Center here in Wilmington does an art show every year for NEDA week. They invite anyone who wants to participate to submit artwork to be displayed in the treatment center. Being that one of my goals was to find other things that I enjoy other than food, I decided to submit a piece. At the time though, I had no idea what this would look like or how it would come to be. Until…I remembered this quote. I wanted to express what 2013 meant to me.

So I went home, rummage through my old “sick” clothes (which I want people to know, I thought I had gotten rid of all of my sick clothes prior to this event, but one of my appointments with Chaundra made me realize that I hadn’t). I wanted to make something sick and sad and lonely into something beautiful, kind and interesting (like me!).

Here is what it became…


One comment on “Anamia versus Reality

  1. Pingback: Rainbow Restaurant in Fort Collins, CO | Shine On Be.U.tiful

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