Family. Food. Beautiful Spaces. Healing. Travel. Living Free.
Recently, I feel like a kid again. They say during the time someone struggles with an eating disorder they are mentally/emotionally halted, meaning when this person recovers their emotional/mental development starts back from when the eating disorder began. So I guess you could say I am a 13-year-old girl living in a 22-year-old body (honestly, I’m probably more like 8 years old mentally…lol).
I can remember my love for riding bicycles as far back as 3-years-old. My friend Julie and I would ride around our red picnic table in my backyard and play the stop light game (yell out green, red, or yellow and pretend there was a stop light…). I remember being 4 and my training wheel coming off and me falling to the ground. I remember moving to Colorado Springs right before I started kindergarten and my dad taught my to ride with no training wheels in our cul-de-sac. We moved to Black Forest when I was 7, and my sister and brother and I would pretend to make roads on the driveway and play police versus speeder on our bikes. We would ride down to the park (and just up and down our very long hilly driveway). Riding a bike has always been something I am drawn to.
I nanny for a family who has a little 4 your old boy, and every time I watch him and his sister, all he wants to do is go outside and ride his bike (which I don’t mind by any means!). He gets so excited to get his helmet on and hop on his bicycle. He plays games and pretends he a train or a car and rides and rides until I have to beg him to come inside. He just loves it! This excitement for something so trivial as riding a bicycle reminds me of how I have been recently. I LOVE riding my bike!
It might be because I still feel like a kid, but I know that my current physical shape compared to my previous sick body plays a part. When I became sick with Anamia, I couldn’t ride a bike without becoming exhausted and tired very quick. I couldn’t go long distances or even jog without feeling pain and exhaustion. But most of all, riding a bicycle wasn’t fun anymore. I had no desire to do it.
Today, I ride my bike without any pain, any fear, or any pressure. It’s just me (and sometimes Bentley and Sophie in my basket) riding my bike. It’s a great way to bond with nature and with my husband. We talk and laugh and enjoy our beautiful Wilmington.
Now another love of mine…carrot cake cupcakes. No scratch that. Any kind of cupcakes. Through my recovery in 2013 one of my favorite fun foods experiences was sharing a cupcake at Whole Foods with Colin. I just remember feeling to free and hopeful.
Every now and then we still go to Whole Foods and treat ourselves to a delicious vegan cupcake. This last time we went we ride out bikes which made the experience even more exciting!…